it's closing time.

it's been one hell of a month.

today was the last day of my undergraduate education. it was rather anticlimactic. i envisioned running out my class with a big smile on my face, perhaps jumping for joy--but no. my classes are done but i still have finals to conquer. i haven't been doing as well in my classes as i'd like but with everything going on i can't help but slack a little.

i interviewed at touro university &it didn't go as well as i hoped either. the campus lacked the energy and life that i felt at ucsf. i'm really hoping and praying for the best at ucsf. at this point it really is my only option. this application process has been such an emotional rollercoaster and i don't recommend it for the light-hearted. although, i do i think it's made me a stronger person. rejection is definitely tough but it's made my skin that much thicker. if i got an interview at ucsf, something is telling me that the #1 ranked pharmacy school in the nation saw potential in me to become a pharmacist one day. i'm just trying to stay positive about everything and i won't give up no matter what. i believe God has a plan for me and now, the rest is up to Him.

in the midst of all the pharmacy school rejections, i've accomplished two goals i set out to accomplish at the end of last year--kaba modern and spop staff returner! this year is truly turning out to be an amazing one and i don't know how it could get any better. kaba modern is a dream come true. honestly, to be surrounded and to learn from all the talented dancers on the team has been such a humbling experience. at times its been a struggle trying to pick up choreo and clean my ballerina body, but i'm starting to get the sense of what they mean when talk about the team as "family." our debut performance as the 2009 team is tonight and i'm more excited and nervous than ever. SPOP is also just around the corner. it's unreal that it's been a whole year since GOLD YEAR. i was on the fence about doing SPOP again this summer for different reasons but opening that e-mail sent that energy and passion through me all over again. i'm ready for a family, a hubby, a new color, a new set of freshman.

this year has been truly amazing so far and i can't imagine where it will go from here. if there was one thing i could change, it would be the lack of my parent's support. they don't want me in irvine for the summer. they would rather have me at home working, but to me moving back to simi valley would be taking two steps back from where i'm headed. i know it will save them money, but if i move back home i will sit around and do alot of nothing and i won't let that happen. i have 3 months to start saving up to pay everything on my own. i want to prove to them and myself that i can do it. if there is a will, there is a way. i just want their support and approval in everything i do and it just breaks my heart that i won't have it this summer. i know this might sound like a selfish statement, but it's just my rationale. i just feel like i've worked really hard my last 4 years and i've even saved them $3000 by graduating a quarter early so i feel like the least they can do is support me financially for three more months. so if anybody has a couch available this summer, i might need it.